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Barbara Karnes, RN · Oct 09, 2025 · 2 min read

When They Can’t Speak: Being the Voice for Your Loved One

Knowledge, support, and love are the "tools" we use for taking care of someone unable to care for themselves.

First, as a caregiver, you need to learn how to provide the care needed. You need to learn about physical care, including cleanliness, bathing, and how to handle bowel movements and urination. You should understand care around nutrition, such as what to feed and how often.  You'll need to be aware of issues that could jeopardize their safety, such as falling, wandering, and things that may happen when they are alone. Mental and emotional support can't be overlooked, either, as they'll likely be experiencing fear, depression, or anger. You also need to know how to care for yourself. Being a caregiver is hard 24/7 work, and you need a support person you can call and say "help" to. You need time for yourself. 
 
Reach out for community support for your special person and also for yourself. A hospital social worker can assist you in getting community services. Palliative care, home health care, hospice, church assistance and support, and Meals on Wheels are a few of the services that might be available to assist in your role as caregiver.
 
Help your special person fill out an advance directive, if there isn’t one already. You want to know and provide the continuity of care your person wants as best you can. You can't know unless you have an honest talk about the future and the kind of care they want. Have the talk and complete the paperwork before you need it.
 
Love them. Love means listening and being gentle, tender, and respectful. Love means presence - just being there. Love is a soft caress; it is touch. Love is looking for ways to make each day special.
 
Our actions generally speak more truth than our words. The care you give can be the love you give your special person.
 
Caring for someone as the end of their life approaches is a gift. A gift for the person you are caring for and a gift to yourself. It is the opportunity to show your appreciation for the relationship through hands-on care, presence, and words. Barbara Karnes, RN Hospice Expert & Author Get the Family Support Bundle Here: https://bkbooks.com/products/family-support-bundle
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