Lori A. Charney · Apr 29, 2025 · 3 min read
Connections After Loss
The impermanence of life is an undeniable truth, a constant reminder of our shared mortality. None of us are destined to leave this world unscathed by time. Over the past 13 months, I have walked alongside others as they navigate their final chapters - each journey as unique as the individuals themselves.
My inspiration to support older adults on their journey stems from a profound appreciation for their stories and experiences. They are like living history books, filled with wisdom and moments that I feel compelled to preserve. After losing my own beloved parents too soon, I discovered a deep desire to connect with and build intergenerational relationships. I believe that everyone, regardless of age or diagnosis, deserves the opportunity to live fully and with dignity.
For some, this chapter is a pause, a temporary detour as they rebuild their strength and reclaim the rhythm of their lives. For others, the intricate wiring of their cognitive abilities no longer aligns with the demands of daily existence, transforming ordinary tasks into insurmountable challenges.
And then, there was BD. For the sake of his family’s privacy, I’ll call him BD. At 91, his mind remained a beacon of clarity, defying the wear of decades. Though I hold deep regard for all those I care for, there are a rare few who weave their way into my heart in as profound and enduring ways as BD did.
BD and I formed an immediate connection the first time we met in his sunlit, window-filled family room. The light seemed to embrace the space, much like his warmth welcomed me. Our initial conversations touched on surface topics like the weather, Minnesota sports, and our shared admiration for Lake Superior. And, after just a few months of working together, he handed me the keys to a cottage he owned on its shore, encouraging me to go enjoy a weekend there. I shared stories about my boys, my dog - who he soon looked forward to seeing and became a welcomed companion during my visits - and the moments that had shaped my 48 years. In return, he shared stories of projects he was proud of, his children and grandchildren, books he loved to immerse himself in and share, and his tenure in law.
He had cared for his beloved spouse with the help of a caregiver before, so he understood the deeply personal nature of this one-on-one journey we were about to embark upon. That understanding, paired with a mutual respect that was palpable in every visit, created a foundation of trust and openness between us.
BD took his final breath today. Shortly before, I had the opportunity to express my gratitude to him, an honor I will carry with me always. His essence, his generosity, and his presence will forever remain vivid in my memory.
To those of you who have walked the path of seeing your parents grow into their later years and helped them navigate this significant chapter of life, I hold you in the highest regard. Offering them dignity, respect, and love as they approach life’s horizon is, perhaps, the purest and most selfless expression of care. May we all give and receive a love so steadfast.
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